Instant Family Review Part 1
- dwaynelstaten
- Dec 9, 2018
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 10, 2018
This was an inspiring film about a family who not only adopts 1 child but 3! Being an adoptee myself I wanted to review this film and talk about it. **WARNING SPOILERS WILL FOLLOW!!!** The film opens up with the two future parents Pete and Ellie Wagner (Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne respectively) having a discussion with Ellie’s sister Kim and her husband Russ, about Kim not being able to get pregnant. Kim then tells Ellie that she doesn’t have to worry about this since she does not desire to have kids. Ellie then gives Pete a look which he notices and she vehemently denies. The next day she goes onto the website adoptuskids.org and does research about different children. Her husband Pete walks in on her doing this and she says that there is a class on becoming official foster parents. Her husband says adoption is not a good idea right now because of their job of flipping houses and lifestyle, Ellie sadly nods and walks away. When she goes into the other room, he picks up the tablet and reads about the different children and starts to tear up, his wife walks in on him crying and they decide to take the class.
This brought me joy because here you have a family who sees children in need and decides to take a look to see if it’s right for them. Some people look at adoption and say that’s not for me, I’m not the right fit or person and etc. Even Pete himself said “People who take in foster children are really special. The kind of people who volunteer when it's not even a holiday. We don't even volunteer on a holiday” Adoption is for everyone including you and me. The main thing I say before adopting is to pray on it and above everything talk to God about your plans. Proverbs 16:3 NIV says “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Once you know that this is what God wants you to do, push on and grab information about it like this couple did. They then went forward and took a class on becoming foster parents!
When they arrived at the class they met multiple couples on different walks of life (a Christian couple, a gay couple, a mixed race couple and a single mom), who all had different reasons for adoption. Again these were regular people like you and I. Like them, there are many people who have reasons for why they want to adopt:
1. To Overcome Infertility
2. To Protect Their Health
3. Because People Love Caring For Children
4. To Balance Population Growth
5. To Choose The Sex of Children
6. To Avoid Passing Down Genetic Disorders / Diseases
7. To Help A Child In Need
8. To Avoid Pregnancy Complications
9. To Become Parents
10. Help a Family Member or Friend in Raising a Child
11. Wanting to Raise an Older Child than an Infant
12. Incorporate Multiple Races, Cultures and Ethnicities into Their Family
13. Know Others Who Were Adopted or Have Adopted and See it as a Positive Way to Grow a Family
The single mom said she was looking for an African American child who she could help reach his full potential aka she was scouting for a future athlete to which Ellie jokes saying “just like the Blind Side!” That part was funny but in reality it is no joking matter. This goes back to what I said about praying to see if adoption is right for you, if it is then it can be a wonderful thing but if you make plans independently of God to please yourself, this is the way of pride and independence (Bible in One Year Devotional by Nicky and Pippa Gumbel) and will lead to downfall (Proverbs 16:18).
She was only seeking to build a player for a sports league and not a family. If a different family adopted me, I would want them to love, encourage and support me like my parents do now. But if they only adopted me for my future earning potential, that would hurt me and teach me that anyone who wants to get close to me would only do so because of what they can get from me which would possibly lead me to turn away people who actually love and care about me. Proverbs 22:6 NKJV says “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” So in this case while the child would be taught pick and rolls, screens, corner routes and the like, he/she would also be taught mistrust, how to use people and that love equals what you get out of people.
Being a parent is more than just picking out a child and signing the papers, it is a lifelong commitment. Children will try your patience, test your limits and your relationships. I would know, because although I am not a parent, I’ve done these and more to my parents more than once. Is it easy? Absolutely not! Is it worth it? It is worth every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year.
Back to the review, social workers Karen and Sharon (Octavia Davis and Tig Notaro respectively) who guide the parents-to-be through the foster care process, reiterates that being a parent is a lifelong commitment in the film and in doing so they lose one couple while speaking. See what I mean about praying about it? As they go through the class they have a guest speaker Brenda Hernandez (Eve Harlow), an adoptee with her adoptive parents (played by Javier Ronceros & Rosemary Dominguez) who speaks on how she came from a mother who was addicted to drugs and how that addiction was passed on to her, she was adopted and gave her parents a VERY rough time but they loved, supported and encouraged her along the way and that showed her what real family was. Now adopting children with difficult backgrounds does happen and we must be prepared for this because some things can and will resurface, but with God’s help and support from family, friends and fellow parents, we can get through it because as the old saying goes “It takes a village”.
After hearing the speaker, Pete and Ellie are encouraged and not only do they continue with the class to become foster parents, they pass and are invited to an event where they can meet children to adopt, and what happens next surprised the family!
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